Your Behavior

Aloha!
Thursday, October 14th., 2010
I am available today until 2pm., pacific & then
again this evening between 7pm & 11pm., pacific.

Relationship tip of the Day: Listen with your Heart
Oftentimes due to stubborness, we are unwilling or even unable to “see”
or “hear” ourselves in the same manner that perhaps our partner does. 
When this happens, we are blind to the issues, because we tend to avoid
looking at the real problem in our relationship which is actually Our own behavior
or unwillingness to “see” & or yield to our partner’s feelings, or sensitivity regarding
our actions, words or deeds, which is in fact, the real issue.

Because the real issue is about something we did, said, or how we behaved in an offensive, or defensive manner—that we don’t want to or just cannot accept is even possible, we spin, or boomerang back to our partner, inadvertently, making what is actually, our issue, all about them and their sensitivity to our behavior.

When hurt feelings, is the issue within the framework of our relationship, and the root cause is about own behavior—-making it about our partner or their inability to accept our actions, words, or deeds, does not make things better. You being unwilling to see or accept your partner’s point — because you are truly unable to ‘see’ yourself, or HEAR with your Ears or HEART, humbly, your partner’s pleas, is damaging
in and of itself.

These sensitive times are truly one of those tough and touchy times
for all of us to come to terms with, that can escalate into a major couple
war if not handled or addressed in the right & most wise way. Take a long
look at yourself, accept responsibility & be accountable for your actions, words,
or deeds, and the fact that perhaps even if unimaginable to you, that if your partner’s
perception is that YOU DID—hurt their feelings in some way—-even if UN-intentionally —then stop, and with a gentle calm spirit, open up your heart, and listen to the person whom you love with all your heart. Remember that when we love someone —forgiveness is key.

When your partner tells you that your actions, words, or deeds have created hurt feelings, in some way, regardless, it’s important that you open up and ‘choose’ to listen with your HEART, rather than your ears. It’s a difficult thing to accept, especially when unintentional on our part. And we don’t want to accept the fact that ‘that’ was even a real possibility, because in our mind, we love that person so much, that to us it seems utterly a real impossibility to ever do such a thing, or hurt them in the manner they are suggesting.

Not a single one of us is perfect. When you are open to the fact that because you are human, it is likely that you have the ability to behave in a way that can be offensive or defensive, toward others, at times, especially our partners. And for one reason, we are ‘human’, and it’s human to be selfish, self-centered, filled with pride, unyielding, and uncompromising, at times, even if we ‘are unable’ to see that side of our nature, ourselves.

Enjoy your day, open up and talk.
Blessings,
Daija ext 32452