Conflict Resolution begins with Compliment and Solution

Does your relationship look like any of these couples pictured? Arguments exhibit two fundamental issues: A. both parties often feel disrespected &/or rejected, and B. both parties often times say things they truly do not mean. Even winning an argument can leave us in emotional pain, feeling angry and hurt. It’s likely that you are not rejecting ‘the person’ but actually rejecting or resenting their behavior.

Common advice given to parents regarding correcting misbehavior in children is to make sure the child knows you are rejecting their behavior, not them personally. When you find yourself blaming or criticizing a partner’s behavior, remember to always cloak your criticism with a compliment and a solution. Couples who argue and who are able to maintain emotional intimacy and feel closer after clearing things up, are those couples who keep their arguments focused on solutions.~