A Precarious State of Affairs

Oftentimes couples who are in the initial phases of the oh so awesome, ‘we are the same’… drunken’love fest… tend to believe and will most often agree, each with the other, that “GOD” or ‘FATE’ brought them together. While I do believe that GOD… ‘CAN’ control all things—-We are in control of our choices and decisions of whom we marry and when. It’s truly up to us to make a wise decision about the choices of whom we consider to be among good marriage candidates.

There is not one PERFECT person or partner in the world for each of us. In fact, given there are seven billion people in this world… No Doubt, there are many good prospects with whom we could find ourselves falling ‘in love with’—- or at least believing we are in love with—–who would be a ‘good choice’ in partnering in marriage. Women are women, at the core, wired the same and created equally and Men are men, at the core, wired the same and created equally—–our society adheres to this ideal as is seen in gender specific criteria, male/female roles, division of labor, medically, locker rooms, clubs, sports…etc.

Although at the core each ‘gender’ is cut from same cloth, there are no two people in the world ‘the same’, and most certainly there are no two relationships in the world ‘the same’. Therefore, when we ‘choose a specific person to marry’ —-SO MUCH must be taken into consideration—-if indeed you take the commitment of ‘Holy Matrimony’ seriously.

There are plenty of tongue and cheek quotes about how Women marry men hoping they will change, and about how Men marry women hoping that they won’t change. Both Men and Women do change for better or worse. The interesting fact —-(and stats do prove that more often than not, the traits of your man that you don’t like —-get worse—-) it’s linked specifically to the one area of your relationship that was initially enjoyed most Re: ‘SEX’ —-which oftentimes will cease altogether. I could write and talk about this topic for days—-and I am not in any way pointing fingers at either ‘Women or Men’. In brief, the root cause of the breakdown is 100% tied to communication. Committing to learn together, the right type and style of communication…for your specific relationship, will save your marriage. If you and your spouse love one another—-yet, you lack emotional intimacy, then professional intervention is your real hope for complete healing and fostering the intimacy required for both parties to be validated and supported during this arduous reacquainting process.

It’s no secret that one out of two marriages end in divorce. There are three elementary causes for divorce, and the primary cause is ‘FEAR’.