It’s Time to… GO!!

Abusive & Toxic Relationships…the Red Flags are there during the initial budding romance. Unfortunately, the beginning is a time when we overlook and justify our partner’s behaviors, more oftentimes than not, making excuses, rationalizing, and justifying those behaviors because we say that we ‘Love him/her’. You Do know what to do. It’s time to go. However, you find yourself having one reason or excuse after another to ‘avoid’ listening to your own ‘self talk’ (spirit or intuition) about what ‘is’ or ‘is not’ right for you in this relationship.

Perhaps you don’t have the financial viability to actually pick up and move out? No transportation? Maybe you fear retaliation from your Ex? Maybe you are afraid to make the decision to exit because you think or believe that your thoughts of fear can’t be real (denial) … S/he just couldn’t or wouldn’t ever REALLY do what I think or am fearful S/he will do…. and then you resolve by thinking, believing, or trusting, that you are just being over reactive and that it’s going to get better?

Everything we do in life that is ‘not impulsive’ must have a plan. The execution of any plan begins with taking the first ‘active’ step, which then launches the initial process of executing the plan into ‘action’. In whatever relationship we choose to enter into with another person, we must always make sure that we at least ‘feel’ safe within the confines of the relationship.

We don’t buy a home or rent an apartment without fire alarms, or a fire extinguisher, locks on our doors or a way to safely enter and exit. Treat yourself, as a precious possession and your body as your HOME. Set and establish personal boundaries as a way to protect yourself from people who disrespect natural/individual space. Set and established boundaries will at least help stop others, making them think twice before they step over those that you have set for yourself. It is against the law to NOT take ‘NO’ for an answer. NO means NO!
STOP means STOP!

Impulsive relationship decisions are unwise and can cost you your life. Make sure that you feel safe, and that will mean making sure to provide yourself with the appropriate safety measures and means to exit if conditions are or become threatening. Make sure that you have the financial means to exit whenever you desire to go, emergency or not.

Relationships are not about captivity. They are about FREEDOM. Freedom to Be.

Freedom to be and feel safe, respected, happy, healthy, loved, cared for, wanted, needed, desired, honored, trusted, nurtured, validated, appreciated. You are responsible for you. You are responsible for your happiness, health and safety, and your sadness, too. Unless you are unconscious, you have to know when to exit, and then have the courage and the finances to do so.

Independence works, co-dependence weakens. Mutual respect, communication, agreed upon *co-dependence (*sharing of daily operations, logistics, etc.) and maintaining balanced independence while meeting the agreed upon coupled quality decisions and together time will work like a dream in a balanced interdependent relationship. It’s a matter of mutual respect, communication, equity, balance, and trust. Before ever entering into a deeply personal/romantically intimate relationship, make sure those five characteristics are present. In that criteria your exit plan can be easily established by simply recognizing that if the other person, (your partner) is missing on one of those characteristics from their relationship perspective, then you must (for your own safety and oftentimes, sanity) reconsider entering into a relationship with them beyond platonic, or at least realize you must have an exit safety strategy. Maintaining an escape route and routine in the event of unplanned disaster, is wise, mature and rational. It’s not like you’ve lived with this person for 10 years and you know how they respond to adversity, trauma, crisis, etc.

We are all merely human. If you think you know whom you are living with… or whom you are laying next to, please think again. Human’s are exactly that… ‘HUMAN’… and are known to on occasion dangerously ‘snap’. Rather than be Scared.. Be Prepared!