Quashing Sour Grapes: The Right Couples Communication

A romantic relationship can be ruined by not knowing what each party demands and/or needs from the other. The metaphor of the previous sentence is more about what happens when we fail to communicate… we so easily “cop an attitude’ by becoming basically disgruntled each with the other based on not getting ones needs met. It is just that simple. This relationship reality is something that is a world wide relational epidemic…and a disease that more often than not affects couples on a global scale regardless of culture, creed, nationality, or geographic locale. In fact, I don’t know of any romantic or personal relationship ever that I have counseled on in this area where this particular communications faux pas isn’t the number one ailment to the detriment of the declining relationship. In fact, studies show that 89% of all romantic or partnering relationships begin and end with communication being paramount to the healing of as well as the destructive influences that create dissolution of marriages as well as break ups between dating couples — and whether each party is able to move on in a healthy or destructive fashion in subsequent relationships.

We can and do meet the others needs —so long as we choose to respect the other persons needs as being important. Do we believe that the other person’s needs are important? What are the other person’s needs really? Do we even know? Have we skirted the issue because we have been so willing to ‘give in’ when it didn’t really suit us? Do we feel “nit picked” or nagged… about this, that or the other?  Should we attempt to pay more or better attention to the needs of the other person—- or are their needs realistic and balanced and in the best interest of the relationship? Or are they selfish or arrogant, or basically controlling in some way?  What is the real intent by the demands, or needs of ‘each other’ … these are important issues within the framework of our communications… and these questions need to be addressed, asked and answered.

As a couple you can make it your priority for the health and balance,  & for the vitality of your everyday living relationship and especially for the loving connection of your daily intimate relationship to do everything in your power to make your intentions — about “EVERYTHING” clear to your mate, making each other responsible for your own individual intentions, in all communications, and thereby minimize a possible source of trouble in your current and future relationship.

When we eliminate weak points, we will promote a loving feeling that burns brightly thru the most difficult times in our relationships; in our lives.

When we exhibit strength by being willing to reveal weakness, it is only then that we are the most transparent & believable … each to the other of the authenticity of your relationship. By choosing this type of cognizant behavior, you will also become the most powerful within yourself, to know that what YOU are doing or how YOU are behaving is either right or wrong. Period. And then do whatever you must to change whatever it is YOU can change. And whatever YOU cannot change, be willing to accept it.

Acceptance is a huge word, almost as ‘huge’ as compromise. The one note on compromise is this, that in a relationship compromise is fundamental in harmony between parties.  However, if we are choosing to compromise, it is vital that we CHOOSE NOT to compromise our morals, values and principles. But choose only to compromise in our daily operations of everyday life.~

OPEN UP… TALK… refuse to FEAR, choosing to be ‘CLEAR’ … standing on what is ‘right for you’… and refusing to settle for anything less than the Best for the two of you.