It’s ONLY and ALL ABOUT “THE SHARED Communication”

How often do we talk to ‘others’ about what’s going on in our relationships? Or better said, about all the ‘HELL’ that’s going on in our relationship? Or about what we’re experiencing in our relationships? Things that we’re unhappy about, disappointed about, upset over, angry about, mad about, hurt over, irritated about, and just plain fed up with! Right??  Okay, and why do we complain about this, or better said, COMMUNICATE this to OTHER PEOPLE because we FEEL or DESIRE the NEED to TALK about it to SOMEONE because we want to EITHER FIX IT or AT BEST, DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT IN SOME WAY THAT WOULD AT LEAST ALLOW US TO FEEL BETTER “INSIDE” ABOUT ALL THE MISERY and ANGST that WE’re FEELING, True? YES!! Although, Venting about it and lamenting about it etc., may get it off our chest and prevent us from having a stroke or heart attack, it’s not going to ‘FIX’ the problem, or the conflict between YOU and the INDIVIDUAL whom you are experiencing the CONFLICT with. That is going to take much more than just YOU talking about it or venting about it to a therapist, counselor, friend, family member, etc., it is going to take absolute ACTION and CONFLICT RESOLUTION SKILLS and DIRECT INTERACTIVE COMMUNICATION With the other person in order to deal with the issues effectively. Period.

It is my professional advice to play this out, (unless you are well experienced and skilled/trained in conflict resolution ‘SKILLS’) —-in a controlled environment such as in therapy or in a counselling session where you both can air your differences in a safe controlled environment to prevent domestic violence or absusive situations.

COMMUNICATION IS ESSENTIAL and is KEY to living in a Harmonic relationship and entertaining continued happy interactions as well as attempting to resolve any and all matters, issues, etc., in all personal, romantic and professional relationships.

Relationally speaking, it’s important when a person falls in love and is in love and knows that they love someone totally and unconditionally, that they also decide to not only ‘tell that person’ but also that they decide to ‘LOVE’ that person by ‘SHOWING’ that person by virtue of recognizing ‘what is’ important to the person whom they LOVE and making it a point to GIVE to that person in that specific area or in that specific way, that is recognizable or important to ‘that person’  (every person has their own specific love language, see the book titled THE FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES by GARY CHAPMAN) enabling that person to know and recognize that they are being heard, validated, honored, cherished, respected, and truly LOVED.

It’s an individual LOVE language thing. And of course it works both ways.

An example of this would be if you are a neat freak and your partner is picking up after himself and washing a dish or two every now and again —their doing so will certainly show you that s/he respects and appreciates and honors and validates, cherishs and hears what you are all about. By the same token, if they are coming out of a financial bind, and they need financial assistance, and you are financially set—-s/he has a job and s/he asks you to co-sign for his/her vehicle, would perhaps show same type of honor, care, concern, appreciation, validation, respect, etc., but in a financial way. And remember these are examples, but I think you get the picture. The point I’m making here is that relationship and love is all about COMMUNICATION and GIVING.

And the most important of all, what relationship all boils down to and ‘what relationships—-truly are all about, romantic, personal, professional and otherwise, —is in fact COMMUNICATION, in the most ELEMENTARY and RAW but kind, considerate, comprehensive, and direct FORM!! True??

Of course!! Remember the white man coming upon the Indian reservations…
one word… and a hand signal… to let them know…. “FRIEND” or “FOE”.

So Friends, keep in mind that we all ‘want’ something, when we are attempting to communicate. And it is ‘how’ we are communicating that will either ‘GET us what we want’… or ‘Get us more of what we don’t want’… it’s truly Our Choice, and it begins with our Intent, and we must be cognizant of the true nature of our intent before we ever utter a word, or gesture a hand signal.

Remember…  Pure, precise, direct and elementary Communication and to be open to learning everything possible regarding conflict resolution skills for different types and styles of personalities for whom you will be dealing with on a regular basis. And if you are prepared to interact on a variety of levels and with a variety of different personalities and in a variety of different ways using a variety of different methods and style of communication techniques  you will do quite well. However, even if the words “HOW” and “FRIEND” are your basic two words—- at least you are revealing pure intent… so if that is the case, even that elementary style, you are showing that you are OPEN to learn and willing to be a FRIEND. And in most cultures, even the most primative, that is a good start, and will get you in the tent… food and water.

Emotionally Open and Honest romantically speaking; and Compassionately direct and kind, socially polite, and effective Communicationis the bottom line and is the utmost essential TOOL and KEY to Harmony in any and all relationships both personal and professional. Period!~