After the Thrill is Gone!

Greetings – Monday – October 19th., 2009
I am available today until 2pm., pacific & then again this
evening between 7pm & 10pm., pacific.

A relatively ‘quiet Monday’ you can bet you’ll feel rather ambivalent today, a tad bit moody, per se, after all it is the first day back at work after a tremendous weekend at PLAY!! Powerful. Emotional. Tense. Secretive. This is the nature of today’s planetary influence, & Scorpio Moon. Let’s talk seriously for a moment about something very dear to my heart… ‘Relationships’.  Ha!! Imagine that??

Truly, I eat, sleep, breathe, study and live … relationships. Although ‘romantic’ relationships, are my favorite—perhaps my passion, due to the complexity of human nature & behavior. I truly enjoy the dynamic & paradigm of every type and style of relationship. Regardless of the type of partnership, be it professional, romantic, personal—all relationships we have, even with the tangible and intangible, is vital to our general overall welbeing and countenance. But today I am focusing on Romantic Relationships & Love.

Romantic Relationships are in fact serious —- very serious. When we invest our heart felt emotions into a relationship, (romantic or otherwise) we invest our energy, our effort, our time.  In fact for most of us, regarding romance, we invest ‘EVERYTHING’ we’ve got within us, into our romantic relationship—-in the beginning. Key phrase… ‘In the Beginning’. Which is why ‘the honeymoon’ phase if you will, is so much ‘better than now’ or as people always comment to me… “Our relationship is so different now than it was in the beginning’!! And there is a reason, of course, it is different due to the QUALITY of your initial investment into the relationship, that makes the difference between then and now, for the most part.

Think about it—-do you spend as much time thinking about ‘him’ in that special way, or about her in that special way… ‘that loving excited way’. Or do you think more about how s/he is behaving poorly now? The difference in this area is that the thoughts are still present but it’s what you are thinking that is also playing a factor that is altering the relational dynamic from happy and excited to sadness and drudgery.

One way to know that we invest nearly 100% of our emotional effort,  time and energy—-at least initially—-is to be aware of what is or whom is consuming your thoughts. For most of you, if you’re honest, what consumes your thoughts, actions, words, and deeds, is in fact, ‘the romance itself, or the other person, period!

The energy and time you spend thinking about what s/he said, what s/he did, how s/he said [it] …or how s/he did [it] —-whatever ‘it’ is… good, bad or otherwise, totally consumes you and is paramount to whether you have a good or bad day! Sound familiar?  Yes, that is how consumed or even obsessed most of us are in the beginning —and even through out the relationship when it’s a destructive type of relationship. Does this sound like you, or your relationship?

If you can identify with any of this, then you will recognize that the reason ‘relationships’ change from good to bad, or good to just ok, as time goes on, is due to the fact that ‘the depth and degree’ of which you are consumed by the relationship, also changes… settles down or ignites, if you will, and that ‘THRILL’ of falling in love subsides. Or the thrill of making up takes the place of ‘falling in love’.

Therefore, what most of us are actually experiencing or ‘saying’ when we say “Our relationship is not the same as it was in the beginning…or oh I wish it was like it was in the beginning” is that we want to continually be excited by the SPARK of the initial attraction or element of attraction, such as ‘falling in love’ again, over and over and over again…or the first time with a new person ‘sexual stimulation’. Many of us do need that THRILL… most of us, I will say, need that thrill, it’s human nature. And we can achieve it with that same person by modifying, changing or upsetting the status quo, or walking away and redirecting our energy toward finding a ‘new love’ to focus our time, effort and attention on.

And I suggest that if the relationship is based on ‘LOVE’… ‘real love’… that you stop right here and CALL ME. Because if it is ‘real love’ then you can get it back, if you both are committed in doing so. You don’t need to move on, or move out, or find someone new, but recreate the magic between the two of you!

Enjoy your day and evening… let’s talk about your relationship together.

Blessings,
Daija ext 32452