How long does it take you to make the decision to sleep or better said ‘have SEX’ with someone? 3 minutes?

People… please… if you want to talk about matters of great importance such as a serious relationship in which you are currently involved, or considering entering, or about a man or woman whom you are considering sleeping with… please… take sexy seriously. In case you didn’t realize it yet, having sex with another human being is a SERIOUS MATTER!

“…three (3) minutes is not long enough to talk about anything that is as serious as something like this… that could ALTER the course of YOUR LIFE, or… could actually cost you your life…”

Many of you whom I talk to frequently will attest to, and even those whom I haven’t spoken with yet, will also agree, I’m sure, that it doesn’t matter whether it’s Oral Sex or Intercourse, it’s still Sex and it’s Serious, and it’s Serious Sex, and making this decision is a HUGE decision that needs to be truly thought about and discussed. Talk about it with the person whom you’re considering having a sexual relationship with, or with someone older and wiser who can assist you with what you will be feeling afterwards once you entertain this experience. 3 minute decisions of this nature can and oftentimes are deadly.

People I am willing to talk openly and honestly with you, about this sensitive subject matter, and assist you wisely about this in a confidential manner. However, if you want to get a good handle on things then please call me — or any other therapist or advisor for that matter of your choice, but do plan to talk with us for a period longer than 3 minutes about matters of this nature. Otherwise, you are doing yourself an injustice, and us a disservice, as we are unable to address your situation in the most appropriate sense because that is simply not enough time to get down to the ROOT with you of what is important in making such a serious and wise decision.

Because the BOTTOM LINE IS THIS, to ask the question is utterly ridiculous: “Am I going to have Sex with Dave or Susan Saturday Nite”? If this is your first, second or third date… and this is the first time we’ve talked, regardless of what my intuition wants to tell me, my head and mouth wants to speak very calmly but directly why are you even asking me this question, you have already made your decision, YES! And then SCREAM AT YOU at the top of my lungs…’NO’… absolutely NOT! It’s not time yet!

So what are you really asking me? You’ve already made your decision. You know you want to sleep (have sex) with this person. Isn’t the following what you are truly asking me: “Am I going to have Sex with Susan or Dave and am I making the right decision?” That is what I am intuiting. I am intuiting both the fact that you’ve already made up your mind to have sex as well as how wrong it is to go ahead and have it, at this point. But we only have three minutes, because you’ve only paid for three minutes to discuss a decision that could literally KILL YOU!

Is your decision a wise decision?

People, three (3) minutes is not long enough to talk about anything that is as serious as something like this, that I mentioned above, or anything that concerns a major interest or that could ALTER the course of YOUR LIFE, or, as I wrote about, could actually cost you your life, Okay. After all, any relationship where you are sharing your time, effort, energy and body fluids — is a serious matter, as I’m sure you’ll agree, you all, or most of you read the papers and watch the news. And having sex with someone does require more time and attention in making this decision, than perhaps making a decision about what outfit you’re going to wear on a date tomorrow nite, or whose car you’re going to use, to pick up your date in tomorrow nite. Those questions I will be happy to answer in three minutes and be smiling about when we hang up!

What you’re going to wear, or which car you’re going to drive should only take 3 minutes! Boys and Girls, Men and Women, PEOPLE everywhere, My own Children — if you’re possibly reading this, Please take note that whether or not you’re going to seriously date as in sleep with and have SEX with someone should take 3 to 6 months — or longer. Thank you…and you’ll someday thank me, too, I hope! ;)

Are you dealing with CONFLICT in your life?
Of course you are… We all are!!

Conflict is inevitable. It’s a natural part of all relationships, healthy or unhealthy. All relationships—with our spouses, teenagers, colleagues, friends, extended family, siblings, church acquaintances, and neighbors—will experience conflict because people differ so greatly as individuals. And we need to value those differences! Because we’re different in personality, gender, opinions, concerns, and expectations, it’s only natural that we disagree.

“It’s important that we become aware of the blessing of conflict and not be alarmed as we begin to experience disputes and dissagreements.”

Whether at work or at home, meaning in your personal or professional life, think of CONFLICT as a way to Embrace your relationships in a new way.

Conflict isn’t fun—and it’s rarely pretty, of course. But that’s because so many people rarely have good conflict resolution skills. OR perhaps any conflict resolution skills at all. So it’s no wonder most of us dislike it and try to avoid it whenever possible. And it’s perfectly normal for us to want to avoid conflicts.

It’s important that we become aware of the blessing of conflict and not be alarmed as we begin to experience disputes and dissagreements. Rather than worry about when and if a conflict will occur, instead determine now how you will handle any conflict when it does come up. Conflict is actually a valuable crossroads—a point of growth in all your relationships. This may be a major paradigm shift for many people, especially if you’ve been in the habit of avoiding conflict altogether. It’s important for you to see conflict as an opportunity to deepen your connection in your relationships, and not as a threat that will damage them, whether personal or professional, all family members and especially with your children—-Moms and Dads.

So your new goal is not to eliminate disagreements, but to reach the other side together, with a closer bond between you and that other person. When conflict arrises you do recognize that your relationship is changing, certainly; and you can either use this time to grow together or grow apart—whether personally or professionally. The way you handle the critical interactions and conflict will be a key tool in improving your relationship. It is possible to have a stronger relationship if you get a good handle on the conflict and learn to manage it rather than letting it control you.

Conflicts, if handled in a healthy manner, have the potential to draw you closer to one another. In fact, disagreements are a necessary part of the process of drawing nearer to one another and working thru things that perhaps you’d not be able to do any other way, it’s a bonding sort of ideal, that of course, we’d rather choose to run from or not to explore.

The best way to use conflicts is to agree ahead of time to always try to end up after a disagreement with a win-win solution. In other words, argue lovingly in a partnership type arrangement if it’s a personal type situation until you both understand each other and value each other’s different opinions. And in a friendship or work type situation, make sure you do so with kindness and consideration, and always with tact and diplomacy. Then spend a few minutes finding a solution that you both like and can live with. This is the best way to grow and draw closer in both personal and professional relationships, and especially so in love relationships to others when in disputes.
I do promise you that it may not be the most fun thing that you will ever experience, but it will be the most helpful and prosperous relational skill that you will ever learn. And you’ll personally, professionally, and relationally be better for having gone thru it all and learned so much!~